Who's looking for love online? 22/08/2007 10:17  - (SA)

Zimkhitha Sulelo, News24 User

More and more people go online these days in search of their true love. Gone are the days when girls used to go out and hope that the cute guy across the table would some how find the courage to ask for a phone number. Now there is no point in waiting and all can be done in few minutes by posting a profile on internet.

With the help of internet one can be sitting at home wearing pyjamas and manage to attract enough attention from other online users. This can be done without having to worry about make up or shaving for that important first date.

There is also plenty of time to get to know the person a little before meeting them. By chatting to the person, one can decide if he or she is worth a date. There is no risk of catching HIV/Aids online either!

But when internet dating started, it was seen as something used by desperate people only. Now, more and more people are opting to use internet dating - especially the ones with busy lifestyles.

Second chances

An article I read recently illustrated exactly why a lot of people choose the internet to find love. "Sweetgal" a 29 year old Muslim woman, said that after her divorce from a man she was forced to marry, she decided to go online to find her true love. She knew exactly what she wanted from a man.

Bizcommunity claims that only about 12% South Africans have used internet to find love. Out of all these people, some are looking for love while some are just doing it for fun or what is referred to as "no-strings-attached-relationships".

According to a survey done by Netucation in 2004, there are more females online than males but there are also more married men online than single men. So, if you are looking for love on the internet be on the look out for married men and the most common lies which are about age and status.

Apparently, most of the time the picture used on a profile is a few years younger than the profile owner.

History lingers

Looking at the history of our country, it is not surprising to find out that about 78% of the people online are white followed by only 11.14 % of black people (not including coloureds and Indians). Most people online are from Gauteng province followed by Cape Town.

Netucation statistics also show that the predominate age group the 25-32 crowd, followed by 33-39. The majority of the first group apparently just want sex while the second group is mostly divorced people who are looking for a second chance in love.

Apparently someone's email address says a lot about that person so depending on what you're looking for, it would be wise to check the email addresses to make sure you are looking for the same things.

Regardless of age, race and gender, online users have the same goal - to find love. After all, love is worth searching for and if it means you need the internet to do it, so be it.

 

It can be a dog's life finding a partner on the internet - Feature

Berlin - Like attracts like - even on the internet where the dream partner is just a mouse-click away. But people need to be inventive to find the right suitor. Take Berlin resident Dani, for example. She used her pet Dalmatian Magic in her attempt to find Mr Right.

The 35-year-old posted a photo of the black-and-white canine on the website www.date-a-dog.de, which offers pet-loving singles the chance to meet up with like-minded souls.

In addition to the doggy details, the owner can also place his or her vital statistics on the website. Some 6,000 pet owners have already sought to establish closer contact this way.

More than 9 million Germans flirt on the internet, according to the initiative www.safedating.de.

"There are around 2,000 online forums where people can look for partners," estimates Jan Skopek, a social science researcher at the University of Bamberg.

These new types of dating agencies are drawing customers away from traditional lonely hearts clubs, resulting in millions of dollars in lost income, he says.

Turnover from registration fees and advertising on internet dating portals has grown from 20 million euros (27 million dollars) in 2003 to 115 million euros in 2006, says Henning Weichers, managing director of www.singleboersen-vergleich.de.

Dating this way saves time, according to Skopek. "Users can quickly pick out whoever they think might be suitable."

It is particularly useful for people with daytime jobs, who can spend the evening surfing through the huge number of potential partners available over the internet.

Singles are choosy when it comes to looking for the right partner, Skopek says. A poorly taken photograph can result in a would-be lover being clicked into oblivion.

While males tend to go for the physical attributes of a female partner, women place more emphasis on a man's education and professional background.

People with special interests have a greater chance of meeting the right person than those without, according to research.

London's internet radio www.lastfm.de believes that music lovers often find themselves on the same wavelength in other fields.

On its website, the station lists who has been listening to what songs over a period of hours or days. It doesn't bother the lonely hearts that other listeners can click on their personal details. The main thing is that they meet the right person as quickly as possible.

"Chrissy," a 20-year-old German girl with long hair, is a fan of the Munich group Sportfreunde Stiller. According www.lastfm.de, her music taste matches that of "Antonio Junior," aged 20.

Unfortunately, the couple will have to do their flirting via email because Antonio Junior lives in Brazil.

But for those not interested in pets or music, blood is an alternative. The portal www.single-service.de matches prospective partners according to their blood groups.

According to a Japanese theory, different blood groups represent different characteristics in a person.

"People with blood group A, for example, are considered highly responsible and sensitive, according to single-service board member Alexander Hotz. "They would rarely go on holiday spontaneously."

Those with group O are ambitious and strong-willed. They are also unpunctual, according to Hotz. Group B types are considered communicative.

One-third of the 300,000 singles registered with the portal have given their blood groups, he says.

Skopek believes that the internet makes it easier for people to get to know one another. But it is up to the couples themselves to decide what happens after their first meeting.

"The internet doesn't bring people together," he says. "It's the couples themselves who do that."

Copyright, respective author or news agency

the Dating Game: Are you sending that thumb-hither look?

Charlotte.com

August 25, 2007

• Original Charlotte.com article: the Dating Game: Are you sending that thumb-hither look?  alt="Read the original story">

In a landscape littered with suggestive emoticons and digital come-hithers, a new hazard seems inevitable for potential paramours: sprained thumbs.

More than ever, texting has become a conduit for singles to commingle. From flirting to breaking up -- remember Britney's 'Dear John' text to K-Fed? -- text messaging is now a tool often used in the game of love.

Texting is a valuable means to help couples connect, says Gail Laguna, vice president of communications for Spark Networks, which includes JDate.com, Hurry-Date.com and ChristianMingle.com.

With everyone wrapped up in their careers, stuck at their desks or sitting in traffic on their daily commutes, using a free moment to send a text has become a viable way for people to simply touch base or take it to the next level.

'It's almost become difficult to get people on the phone now,' Laguna says. 'E-mail you can deny receiving, but you pretty much know that unless somebody happened to forget their phone at home, whatever you send is going to end up right in their pocket.'

All of the speedy key punching isn't used for just flirtation: 13 percent of mobile phone users have received text or multimedia messages with more explicit sexual content, according to a study conducted in November by Perduco, a Norwegian research firm.

For users under 30 years old, it's 19 percent. With about 3 billion cell phone subscribers worldwide, that's enough tawdry text to fill a red-light Library of Congress.

Author Kristina Grish writes about how digital technology has affected the rules of the game in 'The Joy of Text: Mating, Dating and Techno-Relating' (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, $12.95). With a goal of providing an Emily Post-style guide for women using technology in dating, the book urges readers to use texting and other digital means to reflect rather than reinvent who they are.

Grish knew she was onto a hot topic when she observed a female friend of hers texting a man at a birthday party.

'They were in the same room, at the same birthday party, spending a good hour flirting over text message,' Grish says. 'My first thought was, `Hey, wimp! Go over and say hello.' But it also worked very nicely because nobody else knew they were flirting. They didn't have to worry about the gossip machine.'

Texting is a handy means to flirt. And like any sort of communication between the sexes, it's often over-analyzed by the person on the receiving end, Grish said.

All of which provided a greater impetus for Grish to write the book.

'There is so much technology that is popping up every day,' she says. 'There has to be some sort of basic set of rules so that everybody's on the same page.'

Perhaps the most fundamental rule in using this mode for romantic purposes is to remember that your goal is to eventually put down the device and communicate face-to-face.

Keep It Short, Keep It Sweet, Keep It Sane

Texting tips for flirting, dating and more, from Kristina Grish, author of 'The Joy of Text':

** Keep it real -- Texting is fine as a way to initiate or even support a relationship, but move the patter offline as soon as possible.

** Avoid the X's and O's -- Some women affectionately sign off with the symbols for kisses and hugs. Though it can be endearing to a female friend, it might send a wrong (if not overwhelming) message to the man who you've just begun texting.

** Manage the manic -- Try not to get swept up in the flirtatious fun of rapid-fire texting, the kind that gives you butterflies every time the phone beeps. 'It's very easy to be a little sexier and provocative' via text messages, says Grish. 'But realize the person expects you to deliver in person.'

** Keep it simple -- Text messages are supposed to be short and, hopefully, sweet. If someone has to hit 'scroll down' to read your text, you might as well have sent an e-mail.

** Be responsive -- Answer a text message within 24 hours, otherwise you are blowing that person off. If you can't answer in a day, make a call.

** No `booty' texting -- 'If you're going to make a 'booty' anything, make it a phone call,' Grish says. 'When someone calls you for that purpose, you can hear their voice; you can hear if they're drunk, sincere or desperate; it can nudge your conscience; or you can decide on a laissez-faire, fun choice for the evening.'

 

The Best US Cities for Singles

From Bonny Albo,
Your Guide to Dating.
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Every year Forbes.com reviews the largest (40) urban centers in the US and - using criteria such as nightlife, the costs associated with single living, dating opportunities or events and the number of singles in the area - determine a list of the best US cities for singles. This year's top city, San Francisco, topped the charts because its cultural opportunities outstripped all of the other contenders, although the number of singles, online dating opportunities and 'cool' were all highly ranked as well.

Formerly top-ranked Denver (from 2004-2006) dropped out of the rankings because of a change in the way Forbes determines an urban area, although Denver still earns the #1 spot for low-cost living. Nightlife heavy New York came in second this year, while Los Angeles (#1 for entertainment), Atlanta and Chicago rounded out the top five cities for singles in the US.

Do you think the Forbes survey missed out a singles-friendly US city, or wrongly ranked any of the top five listed here?

 

The Love That Will Finally Speak Its Name

It took the death of my dear life partner for me to find the courage to come out of the closet.

By Loraine Barr

Newsweek

Sept. 3, 2007 issue - I was born at a time when to have romantic feelings for another woman was known as "the love that dare not speak its name." I first read Radclyffe Hall's "The Well of Loneliness" around 1938, in my impressionable teens. The book was a heartfelt cry for understanding and acceptance of the "invert." Now we say "gay" and "lesbian," and nobody faints, although we still lack the same rights as other citizens. In how many ways have attitudes changed? And how have they not?

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When I went to college in the 1940s, the sex books were kept under lock and key in the UCLA library. I was too embarrassed to ask for permission to borrow those books.

Seeking enlightenment, I looked at young women walking around the campus engrossed in one another, and I thought, "Well, at least they have each other."

I did not realize that even I was judging them, while perhaps envying them. I was dating men regularly and enjoyed being thought popular. Nevertheless, when I came home after each date, said "Goodnight" and closed the door, I usually breathed a sigh of relief.

One eligible young man said, on leaving, "We'll get together soon." I said, "All right, but be sure to warn me."

"Warn you!" he exploded, slamming the door as he left.

And then I met a woman: a teacher on campus, who helped me see beauty in the whole world. At 28, for the first time, I was loved and knew love, for myself, for the person I really was.

But while glorying in my never-before-experienced happiness, I knew it had to be hidden. She was married. Often, the only way to see her was with her husband. I was also dating her brother, and we all would sometimes go dancing.

That relationship ended after a few years, when my loved one's husband intervened. I didn't see her until years later, when I stood in line at her book signing at USC. She was alone, cordial; she asked about my mother. But no, she couldn't join me for coffee afterward.

Now I write this after living for 44 years with the most loved and loving, giving, understanding and delightful partner imaginable. For all our time together, we were "in the closet."

Story continues below ↓

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For so long, if you were a known homosexual you could lose your job. We kept our relationship from our families—or at least we thought we did. After my partner died, her son told me that her family knew about us, but kept our secret because they believed our relationship was our own business.

But our silence for all those years was also partially a self-induced caution. Looking back, I think it's possible that as the world changed, we didn't change fast enough.

We knew a few other lesbian couples, and we were comfortable around them. But most of our friends were straight, so we had separate bedrooms to make it seem as though we were just roommates. On one occasion, when my partner and I were with cherished, straight friends, just the four of us after a satisfying dinner, sitting quietly in our living room, I thought how liberating it would be for us to tell our friends of our relationship. They must have seen it coming, for they quickly changed the subject. We four remained warmhearted friends, but we two never again tried to enlighten them or any others.

I never spoke about my sexual orientation with my mother, but she also must have known. When she died, the last thing she said to me was, "I never understood your way of life, but I do now." I didn't reply.

Finally, after almost nine years since my beloved partner's death, I am able to do what I could never have braved in earlier years: pre-sent myself herewith to the world as a lesbian, along with all the women who ask to be judged by the full facet of our characters.

Why am I now able to speak the unspoken? A friend at the retirement community where I live recently came out in the local and national newspapers. When I saw her do that, I thought, for heaven's sake, nobody can fire me, I'm 88 years old, my parents are gone.

Still, I was frightened. It took me several days to put this essay in the mailbox. I owe a lot of credit to people who are comfortable enough in their own skins to say, "This is who I am."

Shall I be haunted for trying to tell my story now, when many might still not wish to address it, or shall I, perhaps, be congratulated?

© 2007 Newsweek, Inc.

 

"The Southern Guide to Internet Dating" Launches Fourth Episode of Video Advice for the Romantically Challenged, Ya'll

"The Southern Guide to Internet Dating" is a series of comedy shorts with practical and funny tips on how to succeed in the often baffling world of online personals. Hosted by romance expert Miss Lora, the video clips can be viewed by visiting www.SouthernGuidetoInternetDating.com.

(PRWEB) August 27, 2007 -- "The Southern Guide to Internet Dating" with host Miss Lora launches its highly anticipated fourth episode Monday, August 27th to the delight of viewers everywhere. Whether single, married or just sitting it out, viewers can get up to speed with the first three chapters of the wit and wisdom of Miss Lora at www.SouthernGuidetoInternetDating.com.

"Everyone takes dating way too seriously," says romance expert Miss Lora. "My 'Southern Guide to Internet Dating' videos make it fun again!" A little bit trailer trash and a lot of common sense, Miss Lora's series of comic shorts guide dating hopefuls through the wacky world and rocky romantic shoals of online personals. After years of her own disastrous and often hilarious experiences, she decided to put her down-home advice on video.

I hope to increase everyone's chances of finding a good mate - or at least a second dinner date.

Miss Lora gives her nitty-gritty perspective on what to do, say and wear in every situation. "The first 10 minutes are crucial whether it's on the phone or in person," Miss Lora explains. "Most people are clueless about where they went wrong. Really." As she's often quoted, "You don't wanna go there. Trust me."

Miss Lora had a very specific goal when she created her series. "I hope to increase everyone's chances of finding a good mate - or at least a second dinner date."

A few testimonials from her viewers include one from Betty Lou Hereford. "With her tips like the two second rule and why every man better notice a woman's toes, Miss Lora makes datin' as easy as pecan pie."

"Big Mike" Capucchio says, "I'm from Jersey, yeah a Yankee. Miss Lora told me the three things you should never say to a lady, and now I can even get a date in New York City."

Says Miss Lora, "Good manners can make all the difference in your success in the dating world, and who better to teach them than a Southerner?"

About Miss Lora
Miss Lora first ventured into the online personals 10 years ago and has had hundreds of men answer her ads. After hearing too many complaints from friends who foundered on the romantic rocks of the Internet, she decided to come to the rescue of the lovelorn everywhere and explain how it really ought to be done with her book/video series "The Southern Guide to Internet Dating." In just a few minutes, it's clear that Miss Lora is wise beyond her big hair and bust line and comes by her accent honestly by way of Florida and Texas. Always ready with a quip and a tip about romance realities and dating etiquette, Miss Lora is available for personal appearances in California or on TV talk shows and over the phone for interviews - "You should call me."

Contact:
Miss Lora
(310) 301 0939

 

Simple to classy: budget dating

San Diego is an ideal location for romantic and inexpensive dates

Natalia Van Stralen, Assistant Features Editor

Issue date: 8/27/07 Section: Dating & Romance

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Media Credit: Glenn Connelly / Photo Editor The Prado Restaurant at Balboa Park is an ideal dating spot for an afternoon lunch or a dressy dinner. The courtyard is a date favorite with palm trees and a romantic fountain at its center.

Media Credit: Glenn Connelly / Photo Editor Balboa Park offers countless options including museums, amusement opportunities and several restaurants. It also has cactus, rose and botanical gardens.

Massive buildings with ancient architecture complement a series of colossal palms. The aroma of Italian food infiltrates the air and sets a desirable atmosphere for a romantic - yet inexpensive - date at The Prado Restaurant at Balboa Park.

That's right, inexpensive. The Prado Restaurant, located at 1549 El Prado, has free parking, stunning architecture and flavorsome foods, all at reasonable prices. Its ambiance provides something for new and old couples alike to enjoy.

And, it's just one of the many places around San Diego that allow for an unforgettable dating experience that won't require you to stay in for the next three dates because you spent so much on the first.

Dating on a budget is a tough balance - between satisfying your own standards of a date, impressing your significant other and keeping expense in mind.

One of the most important things to focus on when dating on a budget is to pay special attention to admission prices. Don't spend your money on high entrance fees; instead, save for a splurge on dessert later or a gift from a museum shop. Some admission-free date options include Balboa Park and Belmont Park.

Balboa Park is an ideal spot because of the numerous date options the park provides - no matter how many times you visit you can always make a new memory.

The park boasts 19 museums with something for every interest, from art to science to model trains. The admissions to the museums vary because most of them are independently managed.

However, memberships are available and many museums offer free admission during the week.

If you're looking for something else to entertain you, the park's eight performing arts centers make choosing one performance difficult. Admission prices vary but many offer group rates - for group daters - and student discounts. The theaters' artistic talents range from dance and puppetry to symphonies and plays.

If a museum walk or a seated play isn't of interest to you, there are enough attractions to turn this article into a book. There are botanical gardens, a miniature railroad ride and an IMAX theater as well as hiking and biking trails.

Every Sunday there are open houses from noon to 4 p.m. that display the different international customs. At 2 p.m. on Sundays, from March through October, the cottages showcase music, dance, traditional costumes, arts, crafts, and ethnic foods - all for free.

To see all that Balboa Park has to offer, go to www.balboapark.org.

If you're looking for an atmosphere that's more simple than symphony, Belmont Park provides not only park activities and food but an ideal location right on Mission Beach.

The Belmont amusement park has 11 rides to choose from and a Wild West Photo shoot option that will provide you with an entertaining dress-up experience and a picture memory of your date at the park - at low prices.

The Giant Dipper Roller Coaster is a classic favorite that's been entertaining daters since 1925. The speedway bumper cars or the Krazy Kars are also fun date options. Each of these rides won't cost you more than a pair of movie tickets.

Shopping is also available at the park including Sun Diego Boardshops and Henna Heaven where you and your date can get henna tattoos that aren't nearly as pricey or as long-lasting as a real tattoo.

There are also several restaurants and food options including the popular WaveHouse and Canes Bar & Grill, as well as the Sweet Shoppe - a sure inexpensive stop at the end of your date.

If you are looking for a night of movies with a bit of a twist, Edwards Mira Mesa Stadium 18 is located at 10733 Westview Parkway and has an IMAX screen for $13.50 per person. Cook dinner together before the show to save on cash; you won't be disappointed with the IMAX movie experience.

If you want to bring dinner with you to the movie, try the South Bay Drive-In, open seven nights a week, year-round, and at $7 per person for two movies it is an inexpensive date must.

Located under the starry sky in Coronado at 2170 Coronado Ave., the box office opens at 7:30 p.m. and the first show starts at 8:30. There is also a snack bar with very inexpensive snack options.

The romantic restaurant setting and picturesque after-dinner scenery may be your idea of an ideal date. It may also be a day of swimming at the beach, riding on Krazy Kars and topping it off with a bag of candy and an ice cream cone.

Being on a budget doesn't mean you have to also be limited on your dating options. Romance is capable of arising in any atmosphere - be it a fancy, inexpensive dinner or the starry sky at a drive-in movie.

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